For Shame

Hello, my friend.

Why is shaming other people an acceptable pastime?  Do we really feel so bad about ourselves that we have to put other people down?  Is our society really so shallow?

Every single day I see people shaming other people.  They may not even realize they're doing it.  Maybe they are genuinely unable to comprehend the harm in what they say.  Maybe they have that dreaded "foot in mouth" syndrome where you speak before you think.

Body shaming - Someone does not meet your standard of what is appealing to look at.  Hey, guess what?  That's your problem, not theirs.  That is their body, not yours.  They can do whatever they want to and with their body so long as it doesn't harm anyone else.  You're displeasure at what you see is not harm, because you are doing it to yourself by choosing to see ugliness where others see beauty.

Food shaming - Someone eats junk food or food you don't agree with.  You tell them to eat healthier.  Hey, guess what?  Their body and their diet are none of your business.  "I'm just trying to help them make better choices", you may say.  Oh.  Did they ask for your help?  No?  Then shut up!  Mind your own damn business.

Meat Eater shaming - "But you're a vegan," you say.  I'm not a public speaker. I will live by example.  Have people responded to my way of doing things?  Yes.  I have had several friends ask me about the vegan lifestyle or how they can help the planet and animals. When they see for themselves and seek help or guidance, I am there.  Every little bit helps. If you do meatless Mondays, I applaud you.  I applaud anyone who makes a conscious effort to do less harm.  I'm an introvert with PTSD and anxiety disorder.  As much as I love animals, I am not aggressive about it.  There are other people who are much better at that and I cheer them on from the sidelines.  We both do our parts.  If you are kind, I'm your friend, even if you eat meat.  But if you ever want to change that, I'll help you.  I was a meat eater too at one time.

Spelling and grammar shaming - Does it ring out in my head like a giant gong when I see a spelling error on a meme.  Hell yes.  Do I sit there and waste time pointing it out?  No.  At this point in their life, that person is never going to learn how to use proper spelling and grammar if they haven't already.  Who am I to judge them?  Maybe they have dyslexia, you don't know.  Also, they aren't in school, they're on social media and you aren't their teacher... are you?  Some people can't spell to save their lives.  If they are kind, I don't care if they can't spell.  I love them anyway.

Tattoo/piercing shaming - So, get this.  I was in a group where they were talking about tattoos and it escalated into tattoos and piercings being self-harm. No.  Just No.  First of all, I am someone who self-harms.  I have cut myself on purpose.  I haven't in a long time, but the compulsion to self-harm is still there during times of extreme stress.  I also have piercings and tattoos.  Self-harming has a lot of misconceptions surrounding it.  It is not a teen-only problem.  People who self-harm do not have a higher rate of hurting others.  Self harmers do not "do it for attention".  Most cutters hide the fact that they cut.  Why do they cut?  Because sometimes you hurt so bad inside, pain on the outside makes it hurt a bit less.  Now, tattoos and piercings are a way of adorning, decorating ourselves.  It is not the same thing at all!  Self harm - you hate yourself and your body.  Tattoos/piercing - you love yourself and your body.  Stop shaming people for it.  Not your body.  Not your business.  though if you happen to see cuts on a loved one's arm... don't get angry.  Don't make them feel worse.  Tell them you are sorry they hurt so much to do that.  Be there for them.  Encourage them.  Love them.  Help them.

This is already getting very long.  There is too much judgement being thrown around.  If you find yourself harshly judging another people take a moment.  Ask yourself who do you think you are to be making a judgement about someone.  Have you lived their life?  Thought their thoughts?  Felt their feelings?  No.  Stop judging people and mind your own business.

I love all of you, regardless of how you look outwardly.  Your heart is all that matters to me. You are all beautiful.

<3 R